Bring Back Some Scissors

Bring Back Some Scissors for Me

Bring back some scissors
My wife yelled out to me
I was headed for the Walmart
As she could plainly see.

Without knowing what I was agreeing to
I shouted back that yes I would
And quickly made my get away
While the "gettin' away" was good.

It took me about five minutes
To get the tools I needed
I walked over the appropriate aisle
And at my quest I had succeeded.

I looked 'round for the scissors
And saw some tiny little things
They were in little case
That was all covered with bling.

She hadn't mention tweezers
Nor the pointy little sticks inside that case
So I hurried to another aisle
So that task I could erase.

I picked a pair of sewing shears
And looked at them in glee
These big ole metal things
Sure looked like scissors to me.

But something stopped me
And the clerk saw my dismay
I need to buy some scissors
Was all that I could say.

What kind of scissors do you need
She inquired sweetly of me.
And I tried my best to remember
What my wife had said to me.

The helpful clerk tried once more
And listed scissors by the score.
I clearly had no faint idea
How many types were in that store!

Sewing sheers, Fiskars, embroidery
Hair cutting, nail trimming-my brain was swimming.
Kitchen scissors, Garage sheers, or dog grooming
Oh my my fate before me was looming.

Then I blurted out "She's a scrapper I know"
"She fights?" asked the clerk
But another clerk said "Let's go."
And took me to the Scrapbooking aisle
Where she had scissors to show.

I almost kissed her hand in relief
For that all was well was my belief
Until the clerk began:

Fiskars?
Martha Stewart
Tim Holtz
Tonic
EK Success
Making Memories
KAI

Then I began to cry...